Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inner Beauty: Keeping Mentally Healthy

Yesterday was, by far, the most inspirational show we've done to date. Danielle and I find issues like mental health, extremely important to touch upon. Outer beauty is absolutely not possible if a woman is a mess on the inside. I can attest to this. The last year of my life has really aged me because of the inner turmoil I went through. I see that now as I study my own reflection. It is unfortunate that stress and anxiety can manifest itself in our physical appearance, but it does.

I encourage you to listen to "Removing The Stigma" if you have not heard it yet. We shared some very personal stories and talked about the importance of seeking help. Danielle and I would like to thank Melanie for her bravery in sharing her brother's story. It means so much to us that women are willing to share their life stories with us and all who listen to "Uncorked." We did pledge to list some helpful links to sites that provide information on dealing with mood disorders. If you have any questions or would like to share your own story, feel free to email us.

Monday, January 19, 2009

We Want Your Opinion

You Are Not Alone..

I have anxiety. I have severe panic attacks that make physically ill. Why? Usually no reason other than the inability to slow down the millions of thoughts and fears swarming my already crowded mind. Is this a new thing? Nope, I now realize its been an issue for years, many years. Does this make me a complete nutcase who lacks the ability to live a normal life? Nope, it just means I need to do things a bit differently so I can live a HAPPIER life. See my realization and diagnosis (by a professional) is VERY recent. All this time I wrote off my feelings as stemming from being overworked, taking on too much, or just thinking it was a really bad personality trait.  Its a scary and enlightening moment you realize you need help. You get to a point where you feel like no one understands, you don't even understand. And it doesn't seem to pass, but sits there hanging on. You finally get to the point you ask for help, you open up to those close to you, and you find out your more normal than you thought.  Depression and Anxiety are not as rare as you may think. The statistics state that around one in four adults suffers from some kind of mental illness. Many of these people are talented, very successful, and outwardly living a fabulous life. But the battle within is an obstacle they traverse each and every day. Now these stats are based on the people who have been diagnosed, I would bet the numbers would be EVEN HIGHER if you counted those who were not officially diagnosed but attempt to deal with it on their own, are too embarrassed to seek out help, or just accept the feelings they have as normal.  

The answer does not lie solely with medication. Which yes, I am on. Both Kadi and I are members of the Prozac club. But there are so many lifestyle changes that you can make that are very beneficial to combating stress, depression, and anxiety. These changes combined with meds and therapy (if necessary) can help you learn to live with and manage these disorders. Combined with my meds, I have decided to make some dietary changes, find my triggers, change how I do my daily work, and implement an exercise program. 

Please listen to Uncorked today as we discuss this issue! And visit these sites for more info on treating and managing anxiety and depression. 

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A Christmas Carol: True Femme Style

Tiffany really captures the True Femme Christmas spirit with her inspiring "Do You See What I see?" (to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?") Feel free to belt it out when in the shower!

Said the pretty girl to her bathroom mirror,
Do you see what I see?
Staring back at me stupid mirror.
Do you see what I see?
Some rolls, some flab
Stretch marks here to there
And a butt so big it's not fair
And a butt so big it's not fair.

Said the pretty girl to her bathroom mirror,
Do you see what I see?
Staring back at me stupid mirror.
Do you see what I see?
gray hairs, fine lines
dark circles under my eyes
with cottage cheese dimpling my thighs
with cottage cheese dimpling my thighs

Said the pretty girl to her bathroom mirror,
Do you see what I see?
Staring back at me stupid mirror,
Do you see what I see?
I'm fat, I'm ugly
Someone help me please
My boobs are halfway to my knees
My boobs are halfway to my knees

Said TrueFemme to the lovely girl,
Listen to what we say.
We're gonna help you change, lovey girl.
Listen to what we say.
You're beautiful, you're gorgeous
You don't see what the world sees
We will bring you confidence and might
We will bring you confidence and might!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Little Beauties Need Our Recognition Too!

Sometimes, beauty is right in front of our eyes but we are too busy to stop and take the time to see it. This was the case for me this morning. Above all else that I do in life, I am a mother. My little ones are growing fast and quite often I have to remind myself to stop and admire the beauty that is a child. Case in point: My three year old has suddenly taken a liking to dancing and signing. She picks up lyrics at an amazing rate and loves to dance around the house performing them for me. This morning, she was acting up and I realized that all she was trying to do was get my attention. We spent a good hour singing and dancing. Then, she asked if mommy would let her sing for the camera. How could I deny her this request. Of course, once I had the camera on, she got a tad shy and I had to accompany her. I will cherish this little clip forever!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Scrub Your Way To Glowing Skin

One of my favorite splurges is a good exfoliating body scrub! My two preferred scrubs? Origins salt scrub in Sanctuary is a spa scent that always relaxes me. Bliss body scrub in Vanilla & Bergamot has a lighter scent that does not linger, allowing you to use your favorite fragrance after you shower. There is nothing softer than freshly exfoliated shoulders....except a baby's butt!

With the horrible state of everybody's financial well being, right now, it might be smart to skip the indulgences. You do not have to skip the body scrub, however! Just make your own with the following recipes. Store the mixture in Mason Jars or even Tupperware! :

Brown Sugar Baby

1 cup brown sugar

  • 1/2 cup almond or olive oil

  • dash of cinnamon
  • 5 drops of vanilla extract

  • Orange essential oil (found in any health food store.)

Salty Wench

  • 1 cup of sea salt
  • 1/2 cup olive oil
  • any essential oil (my favorites are lemongrass, lavender or peppermint)
If you have any beauty secrets that can be made at home, email me to have them featured on True Femme! We will link back to you as a thank you!

We Proudly Present...

When heading out on this journey of fabulousness, Kadi and I decided to seek out some help. We needed someone strong, amazing, and oh so fabulous. This person needed to have the knowledge to assist us in our fitness and health goals. It doesn't hurt that she is a mom, an entrepreneur, and all around NICE person. Here she is folks,(drum roll please) Marcia, True Femme's resident fitness diva!

Yeah, that's really her! Ya almost want to hate her, huh?

Here is a little about the lovely Marcia (in her own words)-

"I graduated in 1999 with a degree in Physical Education. I have been in the fitness and health profession for the past 10 years. I have worked in gym of all sizes performing all sorts of duties- from wiping down equipment, instructing classes to being in management. I am a certified group exercise instructor, yoga instructor, Spinning and kickboxing instructor. I get to do something I am passionate about almost everyday. I love to help people reach their goals in fitness and wellness areas.
I am also a wife, a mom of 2 and a small business owner. I have come to realize that being healthy is not about being a certain size, but it is about being comfortable in your own skin- mind, body and soul. I hope I can help others reach this realization as well!"

Make sure you check out Marcia's two blogs, http://missionpossible1.blogspot.com and http://fitnesscrazedmomma.blogspot.com She has two awesome give aways going on right now. So please give her a warm welcome and go win some free stuff!

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Week Ahead

What can you expect to hear on Uncorked this week?
Wednesday: We will be talking about why the west will always be wild! Join us as we chat with the lovely and talented Wendy Bendoni of Bony Pony Ranch Clothing. Wendy is the designer of the clothing line, seen on stars like Heidi Montag, Holly Madison and the Pussycat Dolls' leading lady, Nicole! What makes this clothing line so special? Tune in to find out!
We will also be touching on the taboo topic of plastic surgery. Sure, everybody is doing it. Sure, it is more common to hear women talk about. Why then, is it still so frowned upon? We will be taking callers and sharing our own plastic surgery stories.
Friday: We will celebrate the launch of Uncorked and the pre-launch of True Femme. The night is ours to hang out and get crazy! Trisha, of MomDot, will be joining us for some uncensored fun and live webcam action. We will be confessing our deepest secrets, unveiling the new BloggersGive venture and giving away prizes! The party starts at 6pm PST on www.stickcam.com/uncorked. You can RSVP here, using Mr.Linky. We hope to see you all on Friday night! Anybody who links back to us or blogs about this, will get an extra entry to win a special prize during the show!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Root Of The Issue

When Kadi and I started out on this journey, we thought long and hard on how to convey what was in our hearts. We both are affected by the media's images of what beauty is but we also understand the desire to improve ourselves appearance wise and in all areas of ourselves actually.  What woman doesn't get a charge out of dressing up and looking fabulous? If you say "No" your lying. Animals are visual creatures. We are visual creatures. Need proof? Look at the power of brand marketing. When you see a certain image, you automatically associate it with a product. That is the case in daily life also. When we are faced with a woman who is fit and healthy looking? We automatically assume she is happy. Does that mean she actually is? No but when one feels comfortable in their own skin the road to happiness becomes less daunting. It is not vain or selling out to want to make improvements. Whether it be losing 10lbs, eating healthier, coloring your hair, buying a new outfit, taking a class, pursuing your passion, or even getting cosmetic surgery. Making changes and improvements is healthy and normal. It shows you are living and wanting to better yourself. When one just accepts their life as a certain way and becomes stagnant; ceasing to strive for more, is when unhealthy habits and unhappiness sets in. There is no shame in wanting to be the best version of you that you can be. It is how you approach these changes that is the key and why you want to make these changes that matters.  

As True Femme grows and develops, we will be exploring this subject more and more. Both Kadi and I are striving to be more fabulous versions of ourselves inside and out. I hope you will join us and maybe have a little fun along the way.

You are fabulous, baby!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Truly Femme Resources

Do you ever find yourself needing some inspirational information on self esteem and feeling good about the woman you are? Here at True Femme, we will not only provide you with the information we have from our own experience, we will also aide you in finding other resources that are beneficial. We will be posting a resource article with links, once a week, to things that we find helpful, inspirational and relevant to the journey we are taking. Here are the ones that I have for this week:

For all new moms who feel like the birth of their baby has caused their life and self esteem to spiral downward toward a state of depression or melancholy, maybe it is time for some ideas to help you regain your confidence and state of happiness: I found this article and was pleased with all of the great ideas it offered.

Are you a working woman who has very little time to relax? Then it is high time to take a weekend to do so. The Working Woman's Survival Show, in Missouri, would be a perfect place to unwind, get some inspiration from other successful women and can count as business on your taxes. If you are just sick of business and need a break from it all, check into Spa Finder and book a day of rejuvenation, close to home. Oh...and the best part is that you can book your spa day online!

Has the New Year got you hungry for a better skin care regimen? Sephora has numerous lines of skin care to fit every budget and skin type. Right now, you can pick your free samples when you join their rewards program. Some of my favorite brands are MD Skincare, Benefit and CLEAN. My favorite little beauty secret that Sephora carries? THIS little baby, aptly named "I Love Myself." It makes me feel put together and all kinds of sexy!

We are giving away my favorite little beauty secret to one lucky True Femme. All you have to do is sign up for our newsletter! The link is on the sidebar and it takes only a minute. For extra entries, you may blog about True Femme, beauty, self esteem, or why you need to start loving yourself and link back to us.

Do you have a website link that helps you find your True Femme? Email me and I will review it for consideration in our future "Truly Femme Resources" posts.

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Price Of Perfection

When I was a teenager, my very favorite Hollywood figure was not Madonna or Drew Barrymore. It was Norma Jean Baker. I had numerous biographies, posters, movies and even a life sized cardboard stand up in my room. I was fascinated by this woman who, despite having rough personal life, captured the hearts of millions of people. The more I read about this woman, the more I loved her, pitied her and wished I could have known her. She led a tragic life, riddled with substance abuse and rejection. She never was able to have children, despite it being the very thing that her heart desired. My fascination with her was not about her dramatic personal life. It was her real beauty and the lesson I learned from her inability to love herself.

As a young woman, Norma Jean was stunning. She was sweet and radiated innocence. She was unashamed of her body. Her auburn curls, milky skin and curvy figure caught the eye of many. The photographers loved her and men fell hopelessly in love with her. Then...Hollywood got a hold of her and turned her into this woman:

Norma, known to her fans as Marilyn Monroe, plummeted after becoming famous. Her life was a whirlwind of drama and trying to find happiness, despite having everything a girl could seemingly want. Males worshipped her. Females longed to be her. Her beauty regimen became a mix of platinum hair, bedroom eyes and always trying to be a size smaller. Suddenly, the beauty she was born with, was no longer enough. Everything she did to improve herself was for Hollywood. She struggled to fit the mold that producers wanted her to. In the end, Norma Jean could no longer handle the pressure of trying to be the sex symbol that America wanted her to be. She never truly knew what it was like to look in the mirror and love the woman who stared back at her.

I wonder how different her life would have been if she had ever come across a place like this? A place where we strive to help women love themselves, regardless of size. A place where beauty is not limited to a size, a hair color or a nationality. I wonder how different she would have felt if somebody had just said, "You are beautiful and sexy without the bleach, the diet pills and the image of perfection." True, she never would have achieved the status that she did, but was it really worth it in the end? I was so sad when I came to the part of Norma Jean's biography when she died. I mourned the loss of Norma Jean. Despite what everyone says about her suspected murderer, in my mind, the one who really killed her was Marilyn Monroe.

Elton John states it succinctly in his song, "Candle In The Wind"

Goodbye Norma Jean

Though I never knew you at all

You had the grace to hold yourself

While those around you crawled

They crawled out of the woodwork

And they whispered into your brain

They set you on the treadmill

And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Never knowing who to cling to

When the rain set in

And I would have liked to have known you

But I was just a kid

Your candle burned out long before

Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough

The toughest role you ever played

Hollywood created a superstar

And pain was the price you paid

Even when you died

Oh the press still hounded you

All the papers had to say

Was that Marilyn was found in the nude

Goodbye Norma Jean

From the young man in the 22nd row

Who sees you as something as more than sexual

More than just our Marilyn Monroe.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Stay Up To Date On True Femme

As we prepare for our move and all the lovely changes we have in the works, we want to make sure you come along! So sign up for our newsletter to get all the scoop on our upcoming launch!

Popping The Cork!

The time has come. We've introduced ourselves. We've unveiled our mission. We posted horrendous pictures of our less than wonderful body parts for you to relate to. And now, the time has arrived to announce:

January 12th, 2009 will mark the first air date of "Danielle & Kadi: Uncorked." What is Uncorked? Here's a short intro:
Tired of the same old boring crap you hear on talk radio? Me too. So Danielle and I created "Uncorked." It is the anti-craptastic show about the shit nobody else has the balls (metaphorically speaking) to talk about! Fair warning: we cuss.
The show will cover topics that most people don't dare touch with a ten foot pole. So why are we? Simply because we feel the need to address even the more taboo issues that women deal with. If we are to be True Femmes, then we need to shed light on all of the things women encounter in life. Of course, Danielle and I will be the ones hosting, so it may include lots of wine discussion and sex jokes. This will not be a show for little ears. We tend to put it all out there and not pussyfoot around!
You are cordially invited to join us next Monday 11am PST, to get a healthy dose of naughtiness! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/uncorked
We are about to publicly sink to new Mer-lows... Get your glass and let us pour you some!

Megan's Fitness Goals

At first, I was sure that nobody would be brave enough to post pictures of themselves, aside from Danielle and I. After all, it is a very humbling experience to put your untouched photos on display for all the world to see. I was wrong. Apparently, there are other women out there who want to make changes in themselves and are unafraid enough to share their journey with all of us. I'm very pleased with this realization and am proud to introduce our newest partner in the quest to a more fabulous us. Meet Megan:
"I am a 28 year old married mother of two boys ages 7mos and 7 years. I am 5' 2 1/2" tall and currently weigh 138 lbs. My goal is to loose 15 lbs and become more tone and physically fit. Not only would I like to look better, but more importantly, live a healthier lifestyle and feel good about myself."

Thank you, Megan, for overcoming your fears and sharing with us! Anyone else who is interested in sharing your before photos, can email them to me along with your stats and goal info. Sharing your name is totally optional. We cannot wait to see all of the awesome after pictures!

Danielle's Fitness Goals

Wow, so I have to follow Kadi with my before pics. Hmmm, talk about feeling nervous. I won't lie I would love to have her problem. See the body below is the body I love to hate. The same body that gave birth to my perfect son, the same body that I have abused for years, yet I still despise how it looks even though its served me well. This year that is all changing. No I don't want (or expect) to be tiny. It ain't going to happen, I am a curvy girl. Even at my smallest I had curves. My goal is to get fit and healthy and learn to love who I am.

The stats:
Size 10
Weight: eek, I hate to say. But 155 (though a good portion of that could be the saline filled ta-tas) Height:5'6.5
The goal: defined muscles baby!! And say goodbye to the muffin top.
The pics: see below. Yes, my mirror is dirty. Yes, my dog is sleeping in my bed. Yes, that is a saddle in the background. And yes, if you leave a mean comment calling me fat, I will find you. (joking, maybe?)

Kadi's Fitness Goals

Ok....(taking deep breaths.) Part of becoming a more fabulous lady, is swallowing our fears and taking the first step. Today, we will be focusing on getting physically fit. Not surprisingly, a whopping 49% of polled readers expressed the desire to lose weight or get in shape this year. Danielle and I are right there with ya! I may not be over weight, but I am not healthy or fit by any means. I am pretty sure that my muscle mass is .1% of my body wieght, or less! I want to get fit and be more healthy so that I live to see my grandkids and spoil them rotten. Why do you want to get fit?
Anybody who is feeling brave and wants to join us in getting fit, may email me their before pics to put up. If not, you can still join us! It would be nice for the readers to see the difference that our new in house fitness diva will help us make over the next few months! Oh, did I forget to mention that Danielle found a smokin' hot fitness expert who has graciously agreed to help us on the road to a more fabulous us? I will be posting about her later on today. For now, here are my before pics and what I'd like to work on:
This is me:

My Stats: starting weight: 107 height: 5'4"
My Goals: Tone muscles
My Areas of focus: Gluteus maximus (butt), thighs and abdominals.

What would you like to work on?

Why Are You Here?

You might be reading this blog because you believe that women deserve the right to feel beautiful, regardless of their size. Maybe you are reading it because you really feel like you need to lose weight or improve your life. You also might be reading it because you are wondering what True Femme is all about. Either way, we are glad that you found us and we have no doubt that you will be glad too!

Danielle and I got the inspiration to create the True Femme campaign, in order to find and spread the knowledge of how to feel wonderful about ourselves. We recognize the gross lack of self esteem in women and feel that it is high time we address it and work to banish it. We were born unique individuals and yet, are expected to fit a certain mold as we become women. It is a crying shame that so many of the talents and attributes we were gifted with are downplayed in our own minds because we feel inadequate. This country battles obesity, eating disorders, alcoholism, drug abuse and countless other travesties because those who suffer from them, often have underlying issues. Too many women eat to deal with emotional pain, while others starve to try to gain control of their feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. Some women just give up on looking and feeling good because they know that they will never measure up to the standards that society has set, or they have set for themselves. We have shifted priority from inner health to outer perfection. While it is great to strive to improve on ourselves, we are missing the point. Beauty does not come only in a size 5, a certain hair color or flawless skin. Beauty is so much more than that.

Being healthy and loving ourselves are the things that we really need to strive for. Trust me, skinny does not equal happy or healthy. I am smaller than the national average and it does not mean that I do not struggle with self love. When I look in the mirror, I see inadequacy. When I look around, I see women who have bigger, smaller, prettier, better bodies than I. Why? Why am I not good enough? Why do I feel sub par? Do you find yourself asking these questions? Do you know a friend or family member who battles image issues or communicates a need to be better than they are?

The majority of women in the world need to be here with us on this journey. Whether you are a person who needs to learn, or has something to teach...you need to be here. Danielle and I are not your tour guides, because we are not experts. We are your companions on this journey. We will learn together, explore together and support each other. We will struggle, strive and I'm sure that at times, we will fall. However, there is strength in numbers and together, we will be able to get back up and keep moving forward toward our goal, which is ultimately to help you discover your True Femme.


What is beauty?

It is not a dress size.

It cannot be bottled and sold.

Beauty is not a label.

It is not a word reserved for the perfect.

It is not flawless skin.

It is not perfect coiffures and perky breasts.

Beauty is not grace.

It is not lengthy legs or hourglass figures.

Beauty is not full, pouty lips.

It is not what you see in glamour magazines.

Beauty is not something to be achieved.

It is not something to be coveted.

It is not at all what you think it is.

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder.

Beauty is weathered hands from doing laundry.

It is the uneven proportions of the common woman.

It is ivory, ebony and every color in between.

Beauty is the sweat beaded brow of hard workers.

It is the tears of pain and joy that fall from loving eyes.

It is the frown lines etched from a mother's worry.

Beauty is truth.

Beauty is courage.

Beauty is compassion and generosity.

It is plump, it is thin. It is tall, it is short.

It is what stares back at us in the mirror, longing to be recognized.

Beauty is real. Beauty is you.

Beauty is in the eye of she who chooses to see it in herself.

Get Uncorked: Jan 12th 11am PST

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